As mothers we make a huge impact on our children... for good or for bad. Our children view themselves often times through our eyes. Is your Mommy lens focusing on their flaws and faults or their strengths and gifts?
|by Steve Corey|
There are enough people in this world who will tear our children down, who will taunt them and ridicule them, who will demean them and try to take away their self worth... we do not need to be added to that number. Moms need to be their child's cheerleader, their champion. When the whole world seems like it has turned their back on them, we need to be there with open arms willing to pick up their broken pieces and mend them back together... because if we don't, then who will.
I have seen the effects of Moms who have not stood beside their children. Moms who wanted to forsake embarrassment and have turned their cheek and let their child be dragged through the mud for something they may not have even done. I have known Moms who have held their tongues rather than defend their child because it was easier to say nothing at all rather than becoming tongue tied and looking like a fool. I am daring you to play the fool because what may cause you embarrassment for a few minutes of your life will save you a life long relationship with your son/daughter.
Your son Jimmy is playing on the playground with some new friends he just made at the park. You join the the other Mommies who are standing around talking, holding their Starbucks coffees while bouncing babies on their hips. The other Moms welcome you into their circle and you join the discussion about rising grocery prices, how to pinch pennies, and small talk about where your kids go to school.
You watch as Jimmy interacts with four other children around his age. The other Moms are talking about affordable places to get a manicure while you notice a scuffle breaking out among the children. Jimmy gets pushed down and the children's voices start to escalate. The other Moms stop their talking and go to see what has happened. One of the boys (Mike) accuses Jimmy of swearing at him. You know your son and you know very well that he would not say such things.
Jimmy is wiping dirt off of his pants and tears are threatening to spill over from his eyes. Mike's Mom walks over to you and demands that Jimmy apologizes for saying such foul language to her dear boy. Do you decide to flesh things out even though it will take time trying to get the truth out in the open (and it may not be well received) or would you make Jimmy say he was sorry and then promptly leave the park and talk to him in the car saying "Sometimes it is just easier to apologize and be done with it, even if you did not do anything." It may be a hypothetical situation but I have seen variants of it happen on several occasions leaving damage in it's wake.
Make sure you are listening to your children. Give them the benefit of the doubt, let them explain themselves and hear the whole story before judging, if you do so it will save you a lot of regret later.
Be a champion for your children. Let them know that you are in their corner. Enjoy building that road of trust and love that will last a lifetime if it is tended with care.
"the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down."
2 Corinthians 13:10
Some ideas on how to build up your children:
* Look during the day to see what they are doing right and take hold of that opportunity to celebrate those victories no matter how small. Example: "Wow, you did a great job making your bed. It looks really nice." "Thank you for playing so well with your sister. You are a great big brother."
* Leave an encouraging note on their pillow or in their lunchbox. "I'm so proud you are my son/daughter."
* Listen to them when they are talking and look them in the eyes.
* Take them on dates and let them know they are special.
* When things are not going right (messed up during the big game, did not do well on a test, was made fun of because of their style of clothes,...) remind them that you are there to support them, to listen, and to help.
Let your children know that you believe in them.
* What is a way your parents encouraged you as a child?* Leave a comment below.