Not Me! A Trip to Walmart.

Oh the things we experiences as Moms.  It's been a busy week in our home... one filled with all kinds of moments that make my hair gray(er), my eye twitchier, and my smile, well, my smile is bigger because these kinds of moments are pretty darn funny when you look back at them.  Welcome to another... Not Me post.

Things NOT heard in our home:
"Don't kiss him!  He tastes like supper." (referring to our toddler)

"Sewiouswy , I just picked up the toys."  - from the three year old to her 18 month old brother.

Five year old: "Mom, did you write the cursive in this book?"
Me:"No honey, Aunt Karen, from Texas did."
Five year old: "Oh, WOW!  I did not know she could speak cursive."

"This food is going to be so nummy because there's a lot of things inside here", said the Princess as she helped me make meatloaf.

"Wacka. Wacka."  Means "your welcome" in Toddler language.

Things that have not happened in our home:

While pregnant with my first child I was not astonished to see a mother open a box of crackers, before buying it, in the store to keep her children happy.  I did not judge that Mom and say to myself "I will not have to do that when I am a mom".  Fast forward four children, I did not eagerly go straight for the cracker aisle and bust open a bag of animal crackers for the kids to munch on while we wound our way through the dreaded Walmart just to keep little ones happy.  I did not remember my judgement when I was young and inexperienced and ask for forgiveness and pray for that Mom, whoever she was and wherever she is this day.

While in the dreaded Walmart I did not run into my Dad who was doing some Christmas shopping.  He had a few ideas for our 18 month old and he decided to show him two items he was torn between.  One was a fire engine with all of the bells and whistles and *gasp* noises.  My little guy lit up like a Christmas tree and giggled and into Papa's cart the truck went.  He then showed Little Man an Elmo train set that also had sounds to which he smiled and then pursed his lips together and began to cry, and cry and cry.  Remember those animal crackers I had given the kids to eat... his mouth was full of chewed up cracker that was now dribbling down his chin and making a nasty mess.  Of course I could not find a tissue so *don't judge me* ... I wiped him up with his sock.  And yeah, it worked great!

On the ride home from the store my five year old did not announce that he had a bloody nose.  I told him at the next stop light I would pass him a tissue.  When I turned around in my seat I looked back and saw that "bloody nose" was an understatement thus requiring us to pull over and use every tissue and napkin that was available in the van.  I suppose if we needed to I could of had everyone remove their socks.  :)

Once home, groceries unpacked, feeling totally exhausted I did not microwave my tea for the third time and was about to sit down when my two oldest boys came in to see me and they both were apologizing profusely.  My younger son had not stuck gum in his hair and our oldest did not desperately try to help him pull it out only further matting it into his blonde locks.
After trying to get it out with olive oil I did not resort to scissors... the good news is that our boy has learned why we don't put gum in our hair.  :)

Most days I have to prepare dinner with an 18 month old pulling at my pant leg, a three year old trying to help me, a fearless five year old desperate to use the paring knife and more than willing to cut/chop anything I will give him, and a twelve year old who just needs some quiet time to decompress around 5pm.  So, while making supper, my pre-teen was not off reading a book, my darlin' daughter was not rapidly stirring ingredients for biscuits thus sending flour all over the counter and floor, my knife wielding son was not chopping up potatoes for me to roast as I looked on with much angst and fear as he came close to his fingers, and the wee toddler did not reach up and grab a stick of butter and begin to chow down on it.  No, it does not take me over an hour to even prepare a simple meal because I DO allow my children to help me in the kitchen.  Is it messy?  Yes.  Does it take longer?  Yes.  Do they learn life skills and have fun?  Yes.  Does my eye twitch?  Yes.

do not regularly stock my nightstand with Dove Promises.  I do not have a chocolate addiction and I do not derive great encouragement from these scrumptious little pieces of heaven wrapped in pretty foil.   I do not read things like
" Take a moment for yourself."
"You're gorgeous."
"It's a bubble bath kind of day."
"Your smile lights up the room."

So, do yourself a favor and always pack an extra pair of socks in your purse in case of an emergency along with a few Dove chocolates... it's cheap therapy.  :)