Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

Some days I am bone tired, weary.  My body aches, my head throbs and I just want to lie down and sleep.  The children do not feel my exhaustion... my two year old is clinging to my leg begging me to "giddy up" like a horsey, the baby is taking everything off the shelves as he enjoys the new found freedom that comes with crawling, my five year old is bouncing up and down asking what is for supper and wondering if I will make something sweet for dessert, and my eleven year old is right by my elbow telling me a detailed description of his latest adventure book that he is engrossed in hoping I will respond with "ooohhhs and aaaahhhs" and the only sound coming from mouth is garbled groans.

How could one so sweet make a mess... well, I should have taken a picture of the mess but I lacked the brain power to do so.

I look at the clock and realize my husband will be home in 30 minutes. I do not know what is for dinner because I was banking on leftovers which ended up being non-existent due to the ferocious appetites of my family the night before and I forgot to plan ahead.  I have to pick up the items little monkey just took off the shelves even though I picked those same items up fifteen minutes ago.  The two year old on my leg just left a puddle on the floor... yay for potty training.  The jumping bean continues to jump and giggle right into a wall and is now screeching in pain.  The eleven year old is still talking about his book... as I nod and start making breakfast for supper.


Some days I just need to know there is another Momma out there like me.  An amazon search for "desperate mom" books yielded a gem that is proving to be just what the doctor ordered.

Desperate. 

Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

  By Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

(Click image below for more information or to order)

       

Are you afraid that you are ruining your children?  Do you struggle with an "out of the box" child who just does not fit any formula?  Are there days where you would rather stay under the covers than face what the day may hold?  ME TOO!  This book has been soul soothing for this Momma and I just had to share a glimpse of it with you in case you found yourself in the same boat as me.

Yes, I do find stuffed animals and Candy Land pieces in my refrigerator... here is the proof.

One of the most recent chapters I read had to do with dealing with a "stubborn" child and rather than resorting to discipline every time, to just spend more time with that child and to shower them with more love. Matthew and I came to a similar conclusion over a year ago with our little blonde haired, blue eyed,  adventure seeking boy and it has made all the difference.  It is not to say that there are not times that require strict consequences for sin however many issues can be diffused with some extra snuggle time, a heart to heart conversation and prayer.

In the book there was an activity suggestion to write out 5 ways I like to be shown love and to think of how my children like to be shown love.  So, the other day I asked the children
"Can you tell Momma 5 ways you like to be shown love?"  I gave them my five examples and then let them tell me their examples.

Ethan and I had a nice heart to heart on the ferris wheel.

Some of the answers I received were what I expected, like: "when you take time to listen to me", "when you make me a special sweet", "going out on a date with you" but the first response from Uriah was:

"When I do something naughty and you need to discipline me you tell me that you do not like having to discipline me.  You hold me close and hug me and you tell me that you forgive me, that is how I know you love me Momma."

My Ri guy... melts my heart every day and he is the one who has taught me how to be a Momma.

His response absolutely floored me.  To hear one so young say something so profound and to really realize JUST HOW IMPORTANT my attitude is when disciplining/correcting my children, just how vital and soul shaping these moments are in where they are completely vulnerable to me.  I have the power in those instances to speak words that will make them stronger or to tear them down and take away their self worth.

I wanted to share this with you today just in case your are having one of those days like I stated above where you are weary and worn out.  It is in those times where I find it very easy to over react to the little things, I find it easy to speak without thinking when I am tired, but I MUST remember to compose myself, to take a deep breath and realize that what is about to come out of my mouth has the power to destroy or to build up.

I encourage you to ask your children today 5 ways they like to be shown love.  Write them down and make sure you breathe into their souls each day with one of their "love languages".

 Go grab Desperate (kindle version is available as well) and enjoy the wisdom that comes from other Mommas who are going through what you are going through and who have come out on the other side, whole AND beautiful AND with children who are not "ruined".

With love,
Dawna

*FYI - The purple highlighted sections in my posts (like in the post above) are links to other helpful posts, sometimes from my own blog and sometimes from other blogs I follow.  Enjoy the journey!